DGA Awards Host Judd Apatow Takes on Double Strike, Fran Drescher, Pornhub and Byron Allen in Monologue

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DGA Awards Host Judd Apatow Takes on Double Strike, Fran Drescher, Pornhub and Byron Allen in Monologue

If there’s a holy man who gives an awards opening monologue, it’s Judd Apatow at the DGA Awards.

In typical fashion, the filmmaker best known for his killer Bill Cosby impersonations took the mic for the fifth time to host the DGA Awards — with the opening monologue being cut in the press room. Don’t ask why in the post-Trump political climate.

Apatow won over the room with his jokes about how hastily the DGA negotiated the deal with AMPTP, M&A, and how Byron Allen may be the ultimate buyer of all media companies, and the SAG-AFTRA president as the “voice of reason.” Swamp in the form of strike.

“My agent said I should wait for more money, but in the spirit of the DGA, I accepted their first offer!” ribbed 40 year old virgin Directors in terms of how quickly the guild reached a deal with the studio; In return for the strike.

“Today, we are dedicating our show to Norman Lear,” Apatow said, “He passed away at the age of 101, and I swear to all of you tonight that I will continue to fight until I find his killer. , I will not rest!”

Having an appearance at the Beverly Hilton, home of the Golden Globes, only served to pivot for Apatow: “I want to thank Jo Coy for lowering the bar for me. I want to thank the Directors Guild for having the courage to hire a white Jewish man to host the ceremony. And it’s even more about how we can make Hollywood great again.”

Alluding to the dual attacks, Apatow quipped, “Many of us had to make painful sacrifices. I had to sell my mansion to move to a slightly bigger mansion in the worst neighborhood.

“During the strike, I went to Wendy’s and tried a Southwest chicken sandwich, I went to Vegas to see Adele. I’ll tell you what I wasn’t doing, creating a masterpiece. Because when I’m striking, I’m striking!”

“After all, what did we learn from the strikes? We learned that Fran Drescher is the voice of reason – and unfortunately that seems to be the reason,” Apatow criticized the SAG-AFTRA boss.

“No. 2, audiences love watching old shows – they don’t care if they’re new or not. They want a warm, familiar blanket. Suit It was the most watched show last year. And Hollywood took notice of the trend. So here’s what’s coming next year: In April, Max is presenting a hot show they’re very excited about – Remington Steele! On Netflix, there are all eight seasons of Barnaby Jones. On Paramount+, they’re unveiling their newest star, the late Ed Asner.”

Apatow did not spare politics, roaring, “I swear to God if this is the only time you vote this year, you all might screw yourselves.”

Taking aim at the presidential showdown between Joe Biden and Donald Trump, Apatow said the race is “going to be between a guy who has met Hitler and a guy who wants to meet “

Apatow ended the entire M&A craze in the industry.

“We are going to see a lot of corporate mergers. Here’s how it’s going to happen. First Warner Bros. Discovery is going to merge with Paramount, then Comcast is going to merge with Sony, then Apple is going to merge with Netflix and then Warner Bros. is going to acquire Paramount Discovery. Then in a hostile takeover, Comcast would immediately take over Warner Bros. Discovery. Then Elon Musk will use his money to buy both of those companies, and to streamline the operation, Musk fires all but 37 people. Then Jeff Bezos came forward and bought the whole thing as a Valentine’s gift for his girlfriend Lauren Sanchez. Lauren flips it and sells it to Salma Hayek.

“It all ends suddenly when Byron Allen arrives and buys everything – for cash! Byron Allen has so much cash! Skip Stevenson died in poverty. He’s actually a brilliant businessman, and takes the whole thing and sells it to – Pornhub!’

” Pornhub is where they combine AI, videogames, classic movies, and pornography,” Apatow continued.

In a previous DGA monologue, Apatow mocked fallen Harvey Weinstein by mocking Tom Cruise and his association with Scientology.

“What Harvey Weinstein ruined was the robe,” Apatow joked in 2018. “If I wear one now, my wife is like ‘Oh.’”

Antonia Blythe of Deadline asked Apatow on the red carpet why the monologue from the press room was cut.

Answer king of staten island Director, “My intentions – I don’t want anyone to hear it. Who wants to get into trouble? I always say it’s just for the directors in the room. Last year, someone snuck in and recorded it, and so Copies went out. What’s fun about this is it’s not on TV, so I can pretend I’m hosting the Oscars without the possibility of ruining my career.

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